A Trip Down Hospital Lane

In the past 8 days my memories from almost 4 years ago have come full circle.  Last Monday I had to take Ava to our local community hospital to have an ultrasound of her kidneys done because she had recently gotten a UTI and they wanted to make sure she won't be prone to more in the future.  Then this morning, Ava and I went to St. V Children's for a scheduled CT scan of her head to determine if anything can be done for the hearing loss in her right ear that she suffered after complications from meningitis in January 2008.  The ultrasound of her kidneys came back completely clear and her CT scan was something that we had been putting off for a while just because we didn't want to stress her out with another test but decided that moving forward it would be best know what we're dealing with.  (And for the record, we scheduled the CT scan almost a month ago, well before we knew she'd need an ultrasound.  Like always, everything just happened at once!)

The tests themselves were nothing to be concerned about - non-invasive and quick outpatient procedures.  The location of the tests, especially timed so close together, was the hardest part for me.  The morning of each appointment we explained to Ava what would happen.  Other than some general uncertainty about the whole things, Ava was ready to go.  She did great during both tests - she was so proud of herself for being brave!  She as even able to do the CT scan without sedation, which was truly awesome!! 

Our first appointment, at HRH, was a little surreal just because I hadn't been in that hospital at all since Ava was admitted (for what we initially thought was just dehydration) that January morning 4 years ago.  We'd been to the campus for office visits but never had a reason to go around to the front where the hospital's main entrance is located.  We sat in the same registration cubicle that we did that first morning, but that was where the similarities ended.  We were taken back to a small room to do the ultrasound then released to head home.  While that visit had a way of stirring up old feelings, it was nothing like what I experienced this morning!  

Once again I found myself loading up the car with a nervous but very brave Ava, explaining some more along the way what was about to happen.  Once I told her she would have to get some "sleepy medicine" (anesthesia) she immediately informed me she could do without.  I told her we'd ask the nurse when we arrived.  This conversation was very detailed however and took up most of our ride to the hospital - which means the emotions I felt just driving into the parking lot caught me completely by surprise!

While we had been back to the hospital twice since Ava's stay there four years ago (once for a hearing test and once to deliver a $6500 check to PMCH for the Healing Hands 5k fundraiser!) I knew this time was different because we were about to come face to face with one of the same machine that changed our life the first time.  Just out of curiosity, I asked Ava as we pulled up to the building if she'd ever seen a hospital "this cool?"  "It looks like the bubbles on the front are glittering from the sunshine!" she told me...obviously pretty cool!  She was amazed; I thought I might cry.  I realized that she had no memory of being there from any of our previous visits - for which I am very grateful - but it was all starting to come back to me pretty quickly.  

We walked in, checked in at registration and were quickly met by the sedation nurse who was happy to let Ava try the scan without anesthesia!  Walking through the halls felt eerily familiar.  We got to our prep room where the nurse produced a "Barbie-sized" CT scan machine and walked Ava through exactly what would happen with Barbies and a Tinkerbell doll.  Ava was ready to go so I had to be too...

CT scan machine

During our two and a half week stay 4 years ago, Ava was having a test done nearly every other day it seemed (CT scan, MRIs, spinal tap, hearing tests and EEG's) and I was by her side for every single one.  Upon entering the room with that giant machine, they got her all set up, Tinkerbell in hand, reminded her to lay very still and went to work.  Suddenly the machine started up and I was reminded of her very first CT scan.  (During portions of the scan, it sounds sort of like a small airplane is getting ready to take off.  It's not as loud, but definitely a distinct sound and one that is not easily forgotten.  Luckily I was busy singing Twinkle Twinkle and Rudolph or my memories could have gotten the best of me.  But when she was finished she was *So Proud* of herself for doing so well - and she had one Proud, Happy and Relieved mama by her side once again :)  

I was thrilled to walk out of there today knowing Ava had made a happy memory there.  While I still get nervous when she asks questions about when she was sick (finding the right balance between the whole truth and how much truth I think she can handle right now) I am so happy that her two most recent visits to the hospital were quick, easy and relatively uneventful - well, aside from deciding what donut flavors to bring home from Dunkin Donuts today!   Sending God all our praises and gratitude for keeping our family happy, healthy and thriving for so many years!  PTL!! 

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Megaphones In My Closet

Once upon a time on one December day there was a little girl patiently waiting her turn to talk to Santa Claus.  The 4 year old had thought long and hard about what she would talk to Santa about this year.  Finally, it was her turn.  She walked up to the jolly old man, hopped up on his lap and started chatting away about what a good girl (and big sister) she'd been, how she just *had* to have and how she was excited to leave a special treat for Santa and his reindeer on Christmas Eve.  The little blonde-haired girl was about to get down when Santa asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up.  The little girl answered quickly,"A nurse!"  Santa seemed pleased with her answer, bid her a "Merry Christmas" and was on to chat with the next child.  As the little girl made her way back to her parents, they were excited to ask her about her new revelation.  "We didn't know you wanted to be a nurse when you grew up!  That's so exciting!"  The little girl had another surprise in store.  "Actually, I don't want to be a nurse; I really want to be a cheerleader when I grow up but I thought Santa would bring me more presents if I told him I wanted to be a nurse."  

At this point, my parents probably wondered where on earth I learned to become so manipulative at my young age.  I obviously can not personally vouch for the authenticity of this story (because I was four!), but given that it has been told over and over again by my parents one can surmise that it is embarrassingly accurate.  

And so my cheerleading career began in third grade during Pee Wee football season and continued into my sophomore year of college.  During this time, of course, I saw many different sides of cheerleading.  The first four years were just for fun - no tryouts or competition to cheer for Pee Wee and Intramural leagues.  Seventh grade brought our first try-outs, and from what I can remember, was my first experience with "unsportsmanlike conduct" (also known as middle school girl drama in general).  I also cheered competitively during my junior high years (yes, there is such a thing - just flip on the cheerleading championships on ESPN next summer and you will see what I'm talking about.  It's intense!)  

Then came high school.   I made the Varsity squad as a freshman.  Suffice it to say I have some pretty terrible memories from cheering my freshman year of high school - but I also having some pretty amazing memories of support coming from the most unexpected places.  My dad would call it a "character-building" time for me :)  I learned a lot about who I was and what I stood for that year.  And a lot about how much crap I could take before I hit rock bottom.  I know there can be conflict on any team in any sport or activity, but for many of them you eventually have to come together as a team to work as a cohesive unit to be successful.  Not so much with cheerleading.  I just remember a lot of girl drama (think "Mean Girls") and no real reason to get past it.  


But the drama is to be expected to some extent because we are in fact talking about high school girls.  (I was one, so I feel totally comfortable making these accusations!)  I think the part that bothers me the most - and the part that makes the real reason for this post so difficult - is what happened in college, especially after I "retired my poms" my sophomore year... 

Stereotypes are a terrible thing.  We've all done it; judged someone by a single detail of their life without knowing even how much that detail has impacted their personality or why they made the choices they did.  And, in my opinion, the stereotype of a high school cheerleader is one of the worst.  "Bring It On" is one of the worst offenders off the top of my head.  I have never seen another entire movie made about the ridiculousness of a high school sport (girls or boys.)  But the one that probably proves my point the best is "Varsity Blues."  Seriously, Ali Larter, you could have done so much better!    I say "high school cheerleader" and most people respond very "knowingly" with an "Oh!" or "I remember our high school cheerleaders" and all they are thinking of is sleazy girls in short skirts.  It's one thing for me to have spent so much time defending myself against this stereotype.  It's another for me to want to encourage or even allow someone to think of my daughter in that regard.  


And therein lies my true conflict.  Ava came home yesterday with her "Super Star of the Week" paper to fill out and display on their classroom bulletin board next week.  We were filling out her paper and the last question  is "when I grow up I want to ____."  She quickly responds with "Be a chef! Oh, and a ballerina!"  Then pauses for a second before adding, "And a cheerleader."  I have no idea how she knows what a cheerleader is.  When I asked her what a cheerleader does, she gave me a quizzical look.  "They cheer for the people on the team."  I imagine there would have been a "duh!" in there if she was a couple years older :)  I can hope this is a fleeting phase, like when she wanted to be a superhero or the week she was adamant she could be a cat when she grew up.  If I'm lucky we'll skirt past this before the girls ever has an opportunity to even sign up for cheerleading.  And yes, we're pushing soccer and gymnastics at the moment - and anything else they have any interest in besides cheerleading.  Am I wrong to try dissuading her out of the exact same thing I did for nearly 13 years?  Maybe.  But I also don't want to be dusting off the "megaphones" in my closet in a few years :) 

"Oh, So You Don't Really Work"

Those of you who know me well can probably see where this is going, but humor me and follow along with my little story about how a late-night cashier was nearly assaulted with the gallon of milk I was about to purchase.

Last night around 9pm I headed out for a little "me" time... also known as grocery shopping alone without six little hands attempting to fill our cart with their ever-changing desires.  I was thrilled to discover there was still an actual cashier working a checkout lane when I went to check out just before 10pm.  (Generally, at our grocery at this hour I have to use the self-checkout which is ridiculously hard to manage with a week's worth of groceries in my cart!)  I generally enjoy conversing with this store's clerks and cashiers and I assumed this one would be no different.  The cashier (who I estimate is in his mid-20's) starts what I thought could be a friendly conversation until he proved me wrong.

Cashier Guy: "Wow, it's a late night for you, huh?  You always out this late?"
Me, laughing: "Yeah, it's so much easier than bringing along 3 kids!"
CG: "What time do you have to get up in the morning?"
Me: "Whenever the kids do until school starts next week - around 7am I guess."
CG: "Do you stay home with them?"
Me: "Yep!"   (wait for it...)
CG: "Oh, so you don't really work then.  At least you don't have to get up for a real job or anything."

True Story...it was all I could do to not grab a gallon of milk and hit him upside the head with it.  Thankfully it's rare to find someone with so little regard for my "real" job or for SAHM's in general.  So I responded with an enthusiastic, "No, I just work all day, every day" and decided to move on hoping this guy wasn't as unintelligent, let's say, as he seemed.

CG: "So you'll  probably just go straight to bed when you get home, right?"

Seriously, this guy was definitely in his 20's so I'm not sure why he's so hung up on 10pm being such a "late night."

Me: "Actually we recorded the preseason game that's on tonight; I'm hoping to watch some of it before bed."

CG: "Which game?"
Me: "I don't know, maybe the Pats-Bucs game."  I had no idea what was recording but I knew that game was being played last night.
CG: "Oh, the Patriots are up 31-7!"  Starting to get doubt his intelligence again...
Me: "I just told you I was recording it, why would you tell me the score?!"
CG: "Sorry, I'm a huge Patriots fan." 

And there you go, my doubts regarding his intelligence are confirmed.  I roll my eyes at him and give a sarcastic little chuckle.  He's already insulted me so he should have seen that one coming.  The girl (also likely in her 20's) bagging my groceries is surprised, "I didn't know you were a Pats fan!"

CG: "Born and raised a Pats fan!  But I don't tell many people that around here."  For good reason, I'm sure!
Me: "I was born and raised a Bengals fan, but it wasn't exactly hard for me to switch over when I moved here."  We all share a laugh...sincere apologies to my brother and dad and friends back home who have remained devoted to the Orange and Black.

I explained, "In my defense though, the 80's were a great time to be a Cincinnati sports fan!  The Bengals went to Super Bowls in '82 and '89 and the Reds won the World Series in '90."
Ms. Grocery Bagger: "I was a 49er's fan by birth, a Colts fan by choice."
CG: "Ouch, the 49er's! They've never won anything!"

At this point I am speechless!  I don't even know where to start...even a casual football fan should be alarmed by his ignorance!  Joe Montana, Steve Young, Jerry Rice...where does he think they played?  Does the word "dynasty" mean anything to him?! 

I decided to stay with the basics, "Well, both times the Bengals played in a Super Bowl they got beat by the 49er's."  Not to mention the other 3 Super Bowl's they played in during their prime - winning all 3 of those as well! 

Ms. GB: "I thought they used to be good."
Me: "They used to be *really* good!"
CG: "Wow, you know more about football than I do!"

That is a gross understatement, my friend.

30 Rocks!

To say we have been busy the last 2 months is an understatement!  Shortly after my last post, our family traveled with my parents, brother and sister-in-law to Orlando for the kids' first Disney experience!  That is obviously a post for another day, but it was, of course, a magical week!  June was packed with play dates and days at the park (I love summer!) and even a weekend reminder of what it's like to be an adult, not just a parent!  July was met with a flurry of baby showers (4!), what may actually be the very last "Hanover wedding" we have the pleasure of attending and one amazing and very special girls night out - 30's edition - and we still have a few days of the month left!

As I reflect on these events and those immediately preceding them, I came to one simple conclusion: 30 Rocks!  (Yes, I love Tina Fey too... who doesn't?!)  I will admit 29 was a hard year for me, as evidenced by the ramblings in previous blog posts, but by the time my 30th birthday rolled around I was ready to fearlessly jump into a new decade.  One the eve of my big 3-0, I had dinner with some wonderful girls and tried sushi for the first time.  Yum!  When I got home, Nick and I decided to stay up until midnight to celebrate the first minutes of my milestone birthday.  We were trying to come up with something "crazy" (as crazy as two parents with three sleeping kids upstairs can be!) to do at midnight, so Nick jokingly suggested we do shots...he was shocked when I told him to find 2 glasses because I wasn't going to do this alone!

Yes, a shot at midnight started it off well only 4 months ago and 30 has already been a milestone year for me as I continue to seek out "firsts" that I never truly considered before.  Here's a quick recap of how we've been celebrating a new, amazing decade!

In honor of my birthday (ok, we're both March babies so it was for Nick's too!) we took our first cruise together,,,
and I got to kiss/hug/dance with an adorable dolphin! 

My first sushi experience - The Flaming Scotty Roll!

Our trip to Hilton head, just days after turning 30 :)

I learned to embrace my inner soccer-mom when I became an actual soccer mom this spring!

My first half-marathon!  What an amazing feeling!

Introducing my kids to the Wonderful World of Disney for the first time! (Thanks Mia & Jeeps!)

First Kenny Chesney concert with Nick at Verizon (started as a girls night many years ago!)
and a wonderful weekend of kid-free quality time!

My mom, sister-in-law and I at MY first nephew's baby shower!  I know, I already have an awesome nephew
(and two adorable nieces) on Nick's side, but there's something extra special about my baby brother
 expecting his first child, a son due in October!

Not a "first" for me, but very meaningful just the same.  I had the pleasure of hosting a baby shower for my friend Mandi, who I've known for nearly 18 years (yep, that makes me sound old!) with several of our close friends/sorority sisters from college.  Honestly, who saw us with all these kids 10 years ago?!

Also, July 4 marked the first anniversary of my first competitive run, a 5K (3.1 mile) in Lawrenceburg.  To celebrate, I ran the Firecracker 6 mile downtown honoring and benefiting deployed Hoosiers.  I plan to run an event every year on the 4th to commemorate my new love of running :) 

My advice to my not-yet or just-turned 30 friends reading this...if I can love being 30 as much as I do while caring for 3 kids and rockin' my mini-van, you can absolutely do the same! 

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Mommy Marathon: Every Mile Is A Victory

Well, I did it!  I completed my first half-marathon yesterday!!  I finished the OneAmerica 500 Festival Mini Marathon in Indianapolis, the nation's largest half-marathon, with a time of 2:33:42 according to the official results.  And my title, which I borrowed from a shirt I saw at the Expo, is absolutely true.  Every single mile of the 13.1 was a victory for me.  Actually, towards the end, every single step was a small victory! 

In case you missed my recap of the weeks leading up to the race, feel free to read this first: Mommy Marathon: In Training. 

Race Day was finally here!  Traffic was a mess and some of the roads closed much earlier than originally posted, so getting to my starting corral was a challenge but I made it with plenty of time to spare.  Standing around for 20 minutes is not how I usually start my runs, so I was getting a little antsy.  I had my phone with me since it had all my music on it, but while I waited I was checking Facebook to keep me entertained.  I was surprised to see so many friends had already left me "good luck" messages and words of encouragement! Just what I needed to calm my nerves.  Finally, my group made it to the starting line about 18 minutes after the official gun-shot start.  I'll admit that I got a little emotional as I crossed the starting line in a "wow, I'm really doing this!" kind of way, but I also place some of the blame on mother nature for her not-so-impeccable timing.


At the Starting Line - with 35,000 other people!


The first two miles were much harder than I expected.  My body always has to push through the first mile before it settles into a rhythm, but yesterday it took a little longer.  I can only assume that 20 minutes of standing around before I got to get started coupled with the initial spacing out of all the runners in my corral contributed to taking a bit longer for me to settle in.  I purposely tried to slow my pace from the beginning to give my self a better chance of actually running the whole thing (or at least most of it) so I was pleased to see that after the first 3 miles I had settled in at about 10 minutes/mile.  Miles 3-6 were great!  I slowed only at the two water stations I stopped at during that time and kept my pace consistent.  I also discovered that I can not drink Gatorade while running - it's way to sweet and after the first sip I spit it back out!  Luckily the next table was full of water cups, so I helped myself and continued on my way. 

Since most of my runs had been about 6 miles or less, I had never encountered the need to use the restroom during a run.  Though I had not had a lot to drink since the start of the race, I apparently had quite a bit of water in the morning and wasn't going to make it another 6 or 7 miles to the finish.  At every mile marker there were drink stations and porto-lets and usually long lines to use the restroom.  Luckily, I heard a couple of runners behind me talking before the race about the restrooms at the track.  Actual bathrooms with several stalls that are clean and with a sink to wash your hands were located just before the 10K marker.  Excellent! 


Running on the Speedway!


Miles 7, 8 and part of 9 went around the famous Indianapolis Motor Speedway - which I imagined would be awesome.  And it was certainly a great experience, but running around that track was brutal because I felt a little bit like a hamster on his wheel wondering when on earth the wheel would stop.  To this point the scenery was constantly changing as we ran through the streets of downtown.  But the track felt never-ending.  Just before I completed mile 8 I hit a wall, both mentally and physically.  My brain and my body knew the furthest I had ever run was 8 miles and it was going to take everything I had I push through at that point.  I took a few short 10-20 second breaks, walking to regain my momentum, but I was still looking for a bigger push.  A few minutes later I would receive my motivation from the most unexpected source!  All around the track were cheerleading squads from several of the local high schools in addition to a few IU cheerleaders scattered throughout the course.  Actually, the entire course was filled with onlookers and fans cheering for their friends and family members participating, as well as for strangers as we passed by. 

The first few squads I saw on the track were a fun little reminder of how far I had come since my own cheerleading days some 15 years ago.  Then suddenly, somewhere around mile 9 the most unexpected motivators were standing right in front of me.  The cheerleaders from MY ALMA MATER were cheering us on!  Seriously, what are the chances?  I grew up 2 hours from Indy - this was the most unexpected and wonderful surprise of my day (okay, Dallas Clark and Peyton Manning on the track cheering me on would have been more wonderful and unexpected, but this was pretty awesome!!)  So in case anyone reading this knows an ECHS cheerleader, you can tell them the crazy lady high-fiving them in the pink shirt was me :)

Just before I was reunited with my past, I had crossed a pace point at the Yard of Bricks, approximately the 8.5 mile marker.  As I watched some of the coverage last night, I learned that many people stopped on the track to "kiss the bricks" as the Indy 500 and Brickyard 400 winners do every year.  I must have been concentrating really hard on pushing through because I never even saw the bricks!  At this check point I was averaging 10:11/mile (with a bathroom break!) and feeling pretty good, but I knew the hardest part was still to come.  Mile 9 was a little rough but mile10 was great as I settled back into a rhythm.  I made it about halfway through mile 11 when I realized my body was having trouble keeping up with my brain.  My head was telling me I was on the home stretch, just 2.5 more miles!  My right knee, however, was throwing the white flag.  I had to walk the second half of mile 11 before I felt comfortable trying to run on it again.  My leg muscles, on the other hand, starting cramping up after a couple minutes of walking so I started with a slow jog and sped up a little from there.  My legs were happy to be running again and my knee was happy to be going a little slower.  I was able to jog miles 12 and 13.  Adrenaline even gave me an extra push at the end to finish strong! 

And much to my surprise, I was not exhausted at the end - I was exhilarated!  It was one of the coolest things I have ever experienced in my life, the sense of accomplishment was overwhelming!  I had never considered myself a runner, even in high school and college when I had to run for cheerleading - I did it because I had to, not because I wanted to.  Even still I am in awe of my most dedicated running friends who finished 13.1 in about 2 hours - 30 minutes faster than me - wondering where they get their speed and endurance!  In the end, my overall pace was 11:44/mile obviously slowing down a lot after the Yard of Bricks.  But one thing is for certain: with better planning and more consistent training, I should easily be able to beat my time next year!  Who's with me?!?

My awesome (and much faster!) race buddy



Frozen vegetables tied on with scarves...a lovely Saturday night!
Yes, I'm trying to make it so my knees will want to bend again in the near future.



Mommy Marathon: In Training

My first half-marathon experience was full of ups and downs - and in writer's terms that means the post recapping my experiences was much too long for one entry!  Here I detail some of that rollercoaster ride right up to the night before the race. 

Training for 13.1 = new shoes!

I started training in January with a 15 week program that was to prepare me for the newest adventure of my "30 crisis." :) I did great for the first 5 or 6 weeks - then we left for our cruise. Everyone knows vacations can be brutal to any workout regimen if you aren't dedicated to staying the course. I had every intention of working out three times during our five-day cruise; I managed one day for about 45 minutes on the elliptical. Then I took another two weeks off after our return because I was so exhausted from the traveling and catching up when we got home. I got back to my regular workout schedule (6 days a week) for one week before the kids and I left for a week in South Carolina with my parents. I worked out once or twice that week and when we returned from that vacation the Mini was a month away! And I was way behind in my training. I had completed the first 8 weeks of P90X in its entirety, which was excellent for building my endurance, but all of my runs to this point had been only 3-4 miles.

So I said a temporary "good-bye" to Tony Horton and tried to find time for longer runs. As any mom knows, however, finding the time was key. I generally did P90 in the basement after the kids were in bed, so time of day was not an issue. However, finding time after Nick got home, we ate dinner, did baths and got everyone in bed for even a 30 minute run in the last bit of daylight was hard enough - and I needed to at least double that amount of time to start getting my muscles used to longer runs. I was so proud of myself for being able to maintain my 5K pace for my 10K (6.2 mi) runs - just under 9 minutes/mile! But leading up the to the race, my longest run had been 8 miles so I was understandably nervous to find out what 13.1 would feel like!

Nevertheless, the night before the race I was excited and nervous. I had gone over to the 500 Expo earlier that day with my good friend Carrie to pick up our race packets so we were prepared for the next morning. My parents surprised me in the afternoon by coming up to spend the night so they could be at the race with me the next day! (A & C had a soccer game in the morning, so Nick was taking all the kids to their game and would not be able to come downtown with me - Thanks Mom and Dad for an awesome surprise!) Everyone had a carb-filled dinner to prepare for the big race and the big soccer game! I was about to head to bed just before 11pm when Nick called down from upstairs... "D just thew up!"

What?! I had no idea he was even feeling bad. He was playing and giggling with my parents while we got the girls ready for bed. How is this happening? So an hour later, after a bath for D, cleaning up puke, changing and washing his sheets and calming him down (this was his first experience with vomiting), everyone was finally ready for bed - though now I was a lot more worried about my baby and very tired from all the "excitement." When the alarm went off at 5:30am, however, I was ready to go. I can only thank adrenaline for the energy I had during the next 8 hours, because it certainly didn't have anything to do with how much sleep I got the night before. On this Mother's Day weekend, I guess it's fitting that my first half-marathon experience had "mom" written all over it!

Want to find out how I did?  Keep reading: Mommy Marathon: Every Mile Is A Victory!

Humility and Heartbreak

There are not many moments in my life where one sentence can change my perspective in a matter of seconds.  Especially when news I just received was about someone I will never have the opportunity to meet.  

My hometown has been shocked and shaken twice in the past 2 weeks by separate stories with incredibly sad endings.  Last week, while on Spring Break, Rick and his wife Laura were swimming in the ocean and got caught up in a strong under current.  Laura was able to escape the current and swim back to the beach; Rick was rescued by lifeguards but was unable to be resuscitated.  His wife and daughter are now left to pick up the pieces of this unexpected tragedy.  While I do not know this family personally, they have attended the church where I grew up for many years and my brother and sister-in-law had worked with Rick on their wedding invitations just a few months before...it hurts to see them hurting.  Many many prayers are still lifting up this family.  

The second tragedy is even harder for me to process.  On Saturday the kids and I were in the car with my parents - non-stop to the beach!  My brother called to let my mom know that a class mate of my sister-in-law's had been hospitalized with bacterial menengitis and they didn't think he was going to make it.  For all the obvious reasons, I began praying almost continuously for Adam and his family.  I have seen God perform miracles before.  I witness His miracles every single day as I see Ava alive and thriving...running and jumping and coloring and high-fiving (with her right hand)...throwing balls and doing cartwheels...these are all things we were once told she could never be able to do - and that was their "best-case" scenario for my then-17 month old the night they diagnosed her with bacterial menengitis.

By the next day my fears were confirmed; the testing they had done on Adam showed no brain activity.  He was only in his mid-twenties.  And though I was already incredibly heartbroken for this family, what I found out the next day resulted in a combination of shock and humility.  As I watched the sad news, and overwhelming requests for prayers make its way around Facebook, I found a friend explaining to another classmate what had happened. 

"He was feeling sick, so he went to urgent care.  He was dehydrated so they gave him fluids then antibotics...and sent him home.  After several hours he was getting worse and had a temperature of 106 so his girlfriend took him to the ER where he was then diagnosed with bacterial menengitis." 

The general facts in this explation could be word-for-word me describing the day they admitted Ava to the hospital.  We took her to the pediatrician that morning because she'd been so lethargic all weekend and was not eating or drinking hardly anything.  We were told she had an ear infection and was dehydrated.  They only admitted her to the hospital for fluids as she could have take the antibiotic for the ear infection at home.  The high temperature and lethargic symptoms Adam was also experiencing - exactly the same for Ava.  The only difference, and ultimately one of our biggest blessings, was that the hospital didn't send her home.  They wanted to monitor her for at least 12 hours before releasing her.  I literally Thank God for that decision every time I let myself go back to that day. 

I don't know why God chose Adam and Rick to go Home last week but I do know that His plan is always perfect, even when it hurts.  Through the illnesses and cancer diagnoses, through the losses of parents or grandparents, best friends and loved ones, through the complicated pregnancies and family trials...once you look through the pain and grief you will see God waiting to comfort you and continue to love you unconditionally.  "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

Hopefully this promise can bring some comfort to the families and friends of Rick and Adam.  I am praying for strength and peace for each one of you!      


 

Cruisin' 101: Part 2

In case you missed my midnight posting last night, here's Part One of our recent cruise adventure! 
And the saga continues...

Not what I wanted to be wearing when it was perfect shorts &
tank top weather, but I also didn't want to burn anymore! 
Sidenote: the Key Lime Pie was amazing!

4. SUNSCREEN...LOTS OF IT! I know, this seems obvious. We left from Jacksonville, spent a day at sea and arrived in Key West on Wednesday, spent Thursday in Nassau, Bahamas followed by another day at sea on Friday before arriving back in Jacksonville early Saturday morning. Clearly it's going to be warmer, and the sun will be hotter than winter in Indiana. Case in point: it was about 25 degrees when we got to the airport in Indy Monday morning; it was 90 when we arrived in Jacksonville 8 hours later. But still, it's the first week of March so I figured the intensity of the sun would be similar to what it is during July-August in the mid-west. Wrong. I lathered on the SPF 15, found a comfy chair to sun bathe in and pulled out my People magazine to find out how Kate Middleton was handling the Royal Wedding planning. It took less than 3 hours, with sunscreen on, for me to become painfully burnt...and we were somewhere along the eastern coast of Florida not even halfway to our southern-most destination. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the week in either a long sleeve tshirt and long capri pants or, if I dared put on a bathing suit, I was lathered up in my SPF 15 and sitting in the shade! 



Warm Chocolate Melting Cake!  I actually made
this for Nick's birthday dessert last night.  Still
perfecting it, but it was a good first try!

 5. ENJOY THE EXTENSIVE (and Extremely Tasty) CULINARY CHOICES! We ate breakfast in the main dining room most mornings because that's where they served their awesome omelets and Belgium waffles. Lunch was on the Lido Deck where we could get burgers (the veggie burger was delicious!) and chicken strips or some Mongolian fare. The Pizzeria was open 24/7 – the Le Chevre (I think, it was goat cheese and mushroom) was sooo good!! We opted to eat dinner in the main dining room each night because, again, that's where you could find the best food! The selection was excellent, 5 or 6 different main entrees to choose from each night along with several soups, salads and side items that also varied nightly. There was always some variety of seafood (the lobster was my favorite) and an Italian dish because all of the Carnival ship captain's are Italian. (Your strange but interesting factoid of the day!) One night, while enjoying the live music on the Lido Deck we were treated to a midnight Mexican Buffett. In general, I'm not sure how good Mexican at midnight is for the digestive system but the food was amazing and the desserts were even better! Speaking of dessert, Nick also discovered his new very favorite dessert: warm chocolate melting cake. Essentially a chocolate brownie with melted milk chocolate inside topped with powdered sugar, it was a huge hit with my chocoholic husband! By Day 3, Nick didn't even have to order dessert; our server just looked at him and laughed and wrote down his order. One of our fabulous tablemates even found the recipe online, so now I guess I have to try replicate this to the high standards the kitchen staff has set for warm chocolate melting cake! 

6. PACK LIGHT AND CHOOSE CAREFULLY. While most of my cruise wardrobe consisted of shorts, tee shirts and bathing suits I was very excited for dinner in the formal dining room. Honestly, when was the last time I got to wear a dress (and my favorite peep toe wedges) and not have to worry about how impractical it would be for chasing three kids? Plus, I was proud of my newly toned body thanks to P90X so I was sure to pack my skinny jeans next to my bikinis! A word of advice: don't pack anything that may be a little too snug if you gain, say, 5-6 pounds in 5 days because all you are doing is eating and drinking and laying by the pool...including (and especially) skinny jeans. I tried to be good, honestly I did. I took my running shoes and 3 days worth of workout clothes. I got up on our first morning on the boat, ready to get my heart rate up. After a healthy breakfast (egg white omelet and English muffin) I hit the gym...and waited for almost 10 minutes before someone vacated one of the ellipticals. I would have gotten on any cardio-centered machine; this was just the first one to become available. Finished my 40 minute workout feeling great and quite pleased with myself for following through...but never made it back to the gym the rest of the week. Given the number of calories I consumed that week, I should have been going twice a day!



The platform we were on was shaded, so the water was pretty
cold - very grateful for the wetsuit!



7. BOOK AN EXCURSION...or just show up and hope there's an opening! Acting on the advice of a friend who'd recently been on a cruise, we choose to explore one port on our own (Key West) and book an excursion at another. By far the coolest thing we did on the cruise was an excursion in Nassau that took us to Blue Lagoon Island, a private island that's about a 15 minute ferry ride from Nassau. Blue Lagoon is home to a picturesque private beach as well as the Dolphin and Sea Lion Encounters. I had tried to book the Dolphin Encounter two weeks before our departure, only to find out 3 days before we left for Jacksonville that the excursion (through cruises.com, where we booked our cruise) was full. Completely disappointed, we decided to head over to the island anyway to hang out on the beach for the day. When we got to the ferry pier, we saw a Dolphin Encounters office.  We went over, checked it out and found out there were still openings for the next encounter. YAY! After a rather bumpy ferry ride over, I was ready to see some dolphins! Though the water temperature in the sun was in the high 70's, maybe low 80's, our platform was in the shade and therefore very cold. Thank goodness they provided optional wetsuits! (Although I voluntarily let a strange man “size me up” to determine which wet suit I needed, and that was a little creepy, somehow it magically fit so he must have done something right. After our dolphin, Andy, did some tricks for us, he swam over to our platform and I got to feed him and dance with him, feel his teeth and super smooth skin, even give him a hug and a kiss. Yes, I actually kissed a dolphin on the mouth...and, of course, it tasted a little fishy. But it was awesome!



Andy - the star of the show!



8. GET TO KNOW YOUR FELLOW CRUISERS!  This was easy, especially at dinner since we sat with the same 2 couples each night at our assigned table.  One of the couples is from Evansville (his dad is a long-time professor at my parents' alma mater...small world!) and the other is from Atlanta.  We felt old when we discovered both couples were on their collegiate Spring Breaks, but that didn't stop us from having a great time together.  We enjoyed two comedians at the comedy club with one couple and a few evenings of live music or other ship activities (including the Midnight Mexican Buffett) with the other couple.  So fun!  It was amazing how often, on a ship full of possibly 2,000 people, we kept running into several of the same cruisers throughout the week.  One of my favorites were the two couples we met in the hot tub one afternoon, one from Green Bay, the other transplants from Minnesota to Jacksonville...some good-natured NFL trash talk (one guy thought if he could convince me to trade Peyton to the Jags it would actually happen) ensued. 



Our new friends and our amazing servers!



We had a wonderful time and I would highly recommend cruising as a very low-key, but fun-filled way to vacation.  The best part about it?  Unpacking once but enjoying different locales, the amazing food available 24/7, the never-ending activities and contests so you can be as busy (or as lazy!) as you choose and the fact that you and your spouse/friends/kids are all on the same boat so each person can plan on whichever activities suit them best without the hassle of coordinating who's going where and when.  The one major downfall to cruising is that, unlike practically everything else on the boat, soft drinks and alcohol are not included.  Nick and I are not big soda drinkers, so we did fine with water/tea/milk during the day along with the occasional adult beverage.  And of course, the drinks aren't cheap plus they automatically add 15% gratuity to each drink order to ensure the bartenders and servers get paid.  So suddenly my $7 frozen drink was closer to $8.50 - but the server came over and took my order and delivered it to me without fear of losing my cushioned lounge chair so I'm not complaining too much :) 

Formal Night!!

Key West

Nassau, Bahamas (and the Atlantis resort)

Nick's ideal vacation: this hammock and a bottom-less Corona

Blue Lagoon Island, home of the Dolplin Encounter

Midnight Mexicab Buffett!  SO GOOD!

Cruisin' 101: Part 1

We made it!  First night on the boat!!

As many of you know, Nick and I just returned from our first cruise – a joint birthday present to ourselves! While I felt like I did some pretty extensive research before we left, there are several lessons I apparently had to learn for myself before I took them to heart!

1. GO THE NIGHT BEFORE! Really. Everything I read recommended arriving in the port city the night before, even if your ship is not due to depart until 4 or 5pm. Somehow, I missed the urgency of these warnings. We booked an 8am flight out of Indy for Monday morning with a layover in Atlanta and were due to arrive in Jacksonville by 11:55am. Our boat was due to leave port by 4pm – plenty of time, right? I basically grew up in an airport, so I factored in at least an hours worth of delays (late planes, weather delays, quick-fix mechanical problems, etc.) plus extra time to pick up our checked bags and take the 15 minute ride from the airport to the pier. I really thought we were in good shape. Unfortunately, I did not account for all of these unexpected problems happening at once. The weather in Atlanta Monday morning had canceled a 6am flight, so our flight was overbooked as it was. We board the plane and are ready to go when the captain announces that the plane-equivalent of the 'check engine light' won't go off, so maintenance is coming by to check it out. Twenty minutes later they can't get the light to go off, so they have to deboard and wait for a new part to come in from Cincinnati. Now we have two flights worth of passengers trying to catch the next plane to Atlanta – and many, like us, also trying to make it there in time to catch the connecting flight to their final destination. I'll save you the sad details, but we didn't leave Indy until after we should have arrived in Jacksonville, effectively missing our connection by hours. The next flight out of Atlanta arrived in Jacksonville at 3:55pm – if it was on time, and that was before we had to wait for our bags and take the 15 minute ride to the pier. You don't have to do the math to figure out that I had to start mentally preparing myself to miss that boat. I figured this was God's way of affirming my nervous, guilty feelings that it was too soon to leave my kids for 6 days. We had a lot of direct and indirect communication with the pier from the moment we were delayed in Indy; it is no small miracle that the Guest Services Director of the Carnival Fascination held that boat for nearly an hour after she had been cleared to leave, waiting on us and another couple on our same flights out of Indy and Atlanta. And for her we are eternally grateful!!

2. REALIZE THERE WILL BE TEARS...AND THAT'S OKAY. The tears I'm referring to are mine, of course. We met my parents for lunch on Sunday to do the kid-swap and I had not really prepared myself for what it would be like to leave them, knowing I would not see them for 6 whole days. Nick and I have taken one trip, a long weekend to Tennessee, when the girls were 2 ½ years old, without kids since we've become parents. The kids have stayed with their grandparents a few times for a night or two when we had an out of town wedding or other event. After Christmas I remember my parents took the kids for a couple days just to give us some time to unwind from the holidays, my brothers wedding and prepare for Drew's birthday party. I remember those two and a half days going way too fast! Somehow it was infinitely different this time. As the girls loaded in the back of my parents' new minivan – an Odyssey like ours, but cooler! - they barely noticed that Mia and Jeeps were up front rather than Mommy and Daddy. Drew cried briefly, but more out of exhaustion than anything. I, on the other hand, had to get it together just to avoid the questioning looks from my girls so I could hug and kiss them good-bye. We'd been on the road about 5-10 minutes before I was able to collect myself enough to start my packing list. 

   

   Comfy Chair + Book + Floppy Hat = :)

   
   

3. UNPLUG. IT'S GOOD FOR THE SOUL. As much as I missed my kids, for me it was easier to not talk to them every day. I had my phone, but using it on international waters would have been very expensive. We could have paid to use email/internet on the boat, but that isn't the same as talking to them so we opted to unplug for the entire week. The only exception was when we were ported in Key West, I could use my phone as usual and we talked to the kids for a few minutes. (We also attempted to Facechat, but I probably should have figured out how to do so before we left!) It was definitely a weird feeling to know we were completely unaware of anything going on outside out little cruise bubble, but it was nice to know I couldn't/shouldn't be checking my email, updating my Facebook or sending texts when I needed to be laying by the pool, reading a book (that had nothing to do with parenting techniques) and enjoying the sunshine :)

   

   Enjoying my surroundings while unplugged!

   
   
   
   
   Stay tuned for Part 2 coming soon!!

I'll Never Forget to Remember

Blessed.  Grateful.  Humbled.  Prayful.  Amazed. 

These are only a few of the rollercoaster of emotions I experienced yesterday.  I went to bed Thursday night and woke up Friday morning thinking of exactly the same thing: just how far Ava has come in her journey since battling, and handily defeating, meningitis three years ago.  Yesterday was the anniversary of the her admittance to the hospital and, to be honest, I had mixed feelings about whether or not I wanted to remember, to celebrate or to forget it.  Last year, I chose to "forget."  (You never truly forget something like this.)

Going back to her first 24 hours in the hospital is easily the most heart-wrenching emotion I have ever experienced (and my faithful readers know my family has been through a lot just in the past 8 months so this statement is not taken lightly.)  Recently, though, that fateful day of January 28, 2008 found its way into a conversation I had with Nick. 

That's all it took.  It all started coming back.  The phone call to the on-call pediatrician the night before asking to bring Ava in first thing Monday morning because she had been so lethargic all weekend.  They admitted her to HCH that morning for dehydration.  After hours of getting worse, not better, her regular pediatrician came to see her off the clock.  Thank God for her!  She diagnosed Ava with possible meningitis and had her transferred to PMCH at St. Vincent immediately. 

Once Ava had completed her CT scan and MRI, the neurologist on call that night gave us results no parent wants hear.  There were three equally possible outcomes based on her scans: survival with limited brain damage, survival with serious brain damage of a vegetative nature or not surviving.  (I realize "not surviving" is hardly gramatically correct, but I can not/will not write it any other way.)  Whoa.  I still have to let that one sink in for a while before I really "get it."  There was a 33% chance my daughter wouldn't see her 2nd birthday.  Talk about perspective...mine has never been the same since that day! 

It was at that moment that I began praying.  Praying in ways I never knew I could.  Trusting in God in ways I had never, ever been asked to before.  Ways I did not understand until I was put in that position with my back against the wall.  My choices were simple:  Trust in God, fully and completely, or "fix it" on my own.  Clearly, I am not a doctor.  I've never been trained in neurology or physiatry or rehabilitation therapy.  I have no real knowledge of human body past my high school anatomy class...  My choice was clear.

This is the only picture we have of Ava in the hospital.  I didn't want to remember her hooked up to respirators or feeding tubes - and I didn't want anyone to either.  On this day, the Pacers were visiting with some of the patients on her floor and a nurse took our picture and printed it out for us.  Thanks Marquis Daniels, Jermaine O'Neal (that's his chin!) and Asst. Coach and Pacemate for this good memory!

The overwhelming support of our family and friends made this entire journey so much easier.  I still remember every visitor who came to the hospital and to our home to pray with us and for us.  Every card sent or hand-delivered is in a box in the girls' room for us to share with Ava when she gets older.  Every stuffed animal and balloon brought to brighten her day, and ours too.  Every meal provided by the generous hands of others.  There are so many people to thank - as I remember these things, I still don't feel like I have said "thank you" enough times to enough people. 

Just a very tiny handful of Thank You's for the support we needed so much.  I will never forget to remember the outpouring of love and support you provided when we needed it most.  To our parents and families who watched and cared for Carli for 16 days so Nick and I could be at the hospital.  To our church family (CPCC and my friends at BCC) who prayed over Ava and for her, who brought meals to our house for 6 months following her discharge while we struggled to keep up with Ava's therapy schedule.  To my friend Michelle whose son Evan and his Sunday School class made Ava a huge card with wonderful pictures, stickers and messages - definitely saved that one too!  To our good friends Caleb and Tisha who traveled here from Alabama less than two days after hearing the news so they could be here for us.  To every single person who took time to visit with us in the hospital, some traveling several hours each way and many of you more than once.  To my friends who volunteered to watch Carli during Ava's many doctor appointments just after discharge - Abby, Liz, Mel and Emily you guys rock!  To all of Ava's doctors, specialists and therapists who touched our lives through their patience and dedication...Miss Sarah, Miss Kellie and Miss Ricka you are truly a blessing to us.  And most importantly, to Nick for letting me cry when I need to, for making me laugh when I need to and for never wavering in your faith so I didn't waver in mine...I love you. 

My faith defines who I am and that night is the truest test of my faith to date.  God has certainly handed me some difficult tests since then, but the "choice" is so easy now.  I know God loves us and cares for us and that everything truly does happen for a reason.  God used Ava to wake up a lot of people, myself included, who were walking through this life with much less faith than they were/are capable of.  God has some BIG plans for Ava!  I can't believe I get to come along for the ride as I witness His miracles in her every single day! 

Ava's CaringBridge site (essentially my first blog!) that I set up in the hospital is still up if you would like to revisit it: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/avawolf

Mission: Be "X"treme

The secret's out - 29 has been full of "firsts" for me!  It all started last May when I discovered my love for running.  I have run competitively in a few 5K's and am currently in training to run my first half-marathon this May at the Indianapolis 500 Festival - exactly 100 days away!  Then in July, I colored my once-blonde tresses auburn (something I've been wanting to do for years and finally decided just to go for it!)  Success!  I love my new hair color - just the pick-me-up this mom of three needed. 

Next up on the list of "firsts": the cake.  Baking and decorating my son's first birthday cake was certainly something I never thought I'd be able to do... (And it should be noted that, in an attempt to overcome my computer inept-ness, I just posted a text link to my blog for the very first time...all by myself!  Ha!)  My mantra for the big 3-0 (less than 2 months away now): No Regrets.  No longer will I talk myself out of all those things "I could never do"...

So welcome to my exciting new adventure in health and fitness: P90X.  According to their website, "In just 90 days, you can get back in shape, or build the body you've always wanted. All you need is a set of dumbbells or resistance bands, a pull-up bar, and about an hour a day. No gym membership required."  I longed for the flat stomach and tone muscles I enjoyed many years ago - before I had three kids!  I have been back to my pre-pregnancy weight for months, but tone?  Not exactly.  Abs?  Forget it!  Both my pregnancies delivered via c-section.  It occurred to me recently that I am not exactly positive if my abdominal muscles are even in their proper location.  I mean, I had some excellent doctors but they moved a lot of things around to get those babies out! 

I have heard so many great reviews of the program and I was curious to see if I could do it.  So I asked my brother if I could borrow his DVD's.  They sat downstairs in their case for 2 weeks, staring at me every time I would watch Biggest Loser while munching on my snack of the night.  I had already started running on the treadmill in preparation for Mini Marathon training and I knew I would need some variety to my workout if I was going to train faithfully until May.  Finally last Thursday morning, I decided to get them out.  No Regrets, remember.  Once I did the first workout I was hooked. 

Yes, it's hard.  No Pain, No Gain.  (I'm full of great sports cliches tonight!)  Yes, at 50-60 minutes per day, it's time consuming but the workouts go quickly and because there are short water breaks spread throughout the workout, I have no problem keeping up.  I completed my first full week of workouts last night with Kenpo X (easily my favorite, though I love the Plyometrics workout as well .  Both are cadio-centered - lots of jumping, kicking, and boxing!) 

I was sore the first few days, but Day 4 was Yoga X which means I was all stretched out by the end and haven't been sore since.  Sidenote: I have never done yoga before, it always seemed too boring for me, so this was my first experience with anything outside of the very basic moves/stretches that are on my Wii Fit.  My balance is pretty good and I used to be flexible, so I figured this would be easy.  Wrong.  My body needed to remind my brain that my cheerleading and gymnastics days are far, far behind me!  However, I would love to know who took inventory of all the stretches we learned at cheerleading camp 15 years ago, put them on a video and called it Yoga??   

And my reward for sticking with it?  Confidently putting on a bathing suit this summer!  Because, really, what's hotter than a mom hitting the beach to showcase her tone tummy and  her stretchmarks?!