Megaphones In My Closet

Once upon a time on one December day there was a little girl patiently waiting her turn to talk to Santa Claus.  The 4 year old had thought long and hard about what she would talk to Santa about this year.  Finally, it was her turn.  She walked up to the jolly old man, hopped up on his lap and started chatting away about what a good girl (and big sister) she'd been, how she just *had* to have and how she was excited to leave a special treat for Santa and his reindeer on Christmas Eve.  The little blonde-haired girl was about to get down when Santa asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up.  The little girl answered quickly,"A nurse!"  Santa seemed pleased with her answer, bid her a "Merry Christmas" and was on to chat with the next child.  As the little girl made her way back to her parents, they were excited to ask her about her new revelation.  "We didn't know you wanted to be a nurse when you grew up!  That's so exciting!"  The little girl had another surprise in store.  "Actually, I don't want to be a nurse; I really want to be a cheerleader when I grow up but I thought Santa would bring me more presents if I told him I wanted to be a nurse."  

At this point, my parents probably wondered where on earth I learned to become so manipulative at my young age.  I obviously can not personally vouch for the authenticity of this story (because I was four!), but given that it has been told over and over again by my parents one can surmise that it is embarrassingly accurate.  

And so my cheerleading career began in third grade during Pee Wee football season and continued into my sophomore year of college.  During this time, of course, I saw many different sides of cheerleading.  The first four years were just for fun - no tryouts or competition to cheer for Pee Wee and Intramural leagues.  Seventh grade brought our first try-outs, and from what I can remember, was my first experience with "unsportsmanlike conduct" (also known as middle school girl drama in general).  I also cheered competitively during my junior high years (yes, there is such a thing - just flip on the cheerleading championships on ESPN next summer and you will see what I'm talking about.  It's intense!)  

Then came high school.   I made the Varsity squad as a freshman.  Suffice it to say I have some pretty terrible memories from cheering my freshman year of high school - but I also having some pretty amazing memories of support coming from the most unexpected places.  My dad would call it a "character-building" time for me :)  I learned a lot about who I was and what I stood for that year.  And a lot about how much crap I could take before I hit rock bottom.  I know there can be conflict on any team in any sport or activity, but for many of them you eventually have to come together as a team to work as a cohesive unit to be successful.  Not so much with cheerleading.  I just remember a lot of girl drama (think "Mean Girls") and no real reason to get past it.  


But the drama is to be expected to some extent because we are in fact talking about high school girls.  (I was one, so I feel totally comfortable making these accusations!)  I think the part that bothers me the most - and the part that makes the real reason for this post so difficult - is what happened in college, especially after I "retired my poms" my sophomore year... 

Stereotypes are a terrible thing.  We've all done it; judged someone by a single detail of their life without knowing even how much that detail has impacted their personality or why they made the choices they did.  And, in my opinion, the stereotype of a high school cheerleader is one of the worst.  "Bring It On" is one of the worst offenders off the top of my head.  I have never seen another entire movie made about the ridiculousness of a high school sport (girls or boys.)  But the one that probably proves my point the best is "Varsity Blues."  Seriously, Ali Larter, you could have done so much better!    I say "high school cheerleader" and most people respond very "knowingly" with an "Oh!" or "I remember our high school cheerleaders" and all they are thinking of is sleazy girls in short skirts.  It's one thing for me to have spent so much time defending myself against this stereotype.  It's another for me to want to encourage or even allow someone to think of my daughter in that regard.  


And therein lies my true conflict.  Ava came home yesterday with her "Super Star of the Week" paper to fill out and display on their classroom bulletin board next week.  We were filling out her paper and the last question  is "when I grow up I want to ____."  She quickly responds with "Be a chef! Oh, and a ballerina!"  Then pauses for a second before adding, "And a cheerleader."  I have no idea how she knows what a cheerleader is.  When I asked her what a cheerleader does, she gave me a quizzical look.  "They cheer for the people on the team."  I imagine there would have been a "duh!" in there if she was a couple years older :)  I can hope this is a fleeting phase, like when she wanted to be a superhero or the week she was adamant she could be a cat when she grew up.  If I'm lucky we'll skirt past this before the girls ever has an opportunity to even sign up for cheerleading.  And yes, we're pushing soccer and gymnastics at the moment - and anything else they have any interest in besides cheerleading.  Am I wrong to try dissuading her out of the exact same thing I did for nearly 13 years?  Maybe.  But I also don't want to be dusting off the "megaphones" in my closet in a few years :)