The Tough Questions Start with "Why?"

"But Why Mommy?"  If I had a dollar for every time I had to answer that one!  Not long after the girls turned 2, the "why's" (and the "why not's) began.  Why do I have to take a nap?  Why can't I have chocolate milk 24/7?  Why do I have to pee in the potty?  Why can't I wrestle my sister to the floor if she takes the princess dress I wanted? 

This list could go on forever...but not all of the "why" questions are amusing.  For the past two and a half years, we've wrestled with some tough questions, but I have been able to mostly avoid them with simple explanations that I decided were good "for now."  I was caught off guard with another one of those last night.  "But why do I have to wear my boot, Mommy?" 

Since Ava's bout with meningitis and subsequent stroke in January of 2008, she has had different braces to support the weakness in her right calf muscle and heel cord.  She used to have to wear a brace all day but not at night.  Since she started receiving Botox injections last September, she rarely wears her daytime brace, but has a night brace that's supposed to keep her muscles from tightening up overnight.  She just had another Botox injection a couple weeks ago, so it's very important for her to be wearing her night brace, especially right now.  I tried the old "because it will help your muscles feel better" that used to work well enough but at almost 4, she knows there should be more to the answer. 



After a couple more attempts at skirting the issue, I finally tried to explain.  "When you were really little, your leg was hurt and you need to wear your "boot" until it gets better.  Just like when you get a scrape on your arm and you wear a band-aid until it gets better.  Your leg will take a lot longer to heal, though." 

Ava talking to Carli on the phone after her latest Botox injection

"Why doesn't Carli have to wear a boot?" I should have seen this one coming too... "Well, her leg wasn't hurt.  But remember your friend Evan?  He has boots too that he wears sometimes."  Thank Goodness for Evan, because she seemed to remember that she'd seen him wearing his boots before too!  She was still skeptical, and didn't end up wearing her boot last night.  (She had to wear her daytime boot today instead.)  But it took every ounce of my energy to make it downstairs before I lost it.

Once we settled into our therapy schedule a couple years ago, I made it my mission to never treat Ava differently than Carli and to make sure everyone else we came in contact with was following suit.  To the best of my knowledge, this has worked pretty well.  We don't make excuses if Ava doesn't pick something up as quickly as Carli might or ever let her say "can't."  But I sense we're moving into a new, tougher chapter of "why's."  With God's help, and several boxes of Kleenex, I pray we find the right answers at the right time. 

Two of the most amazing blessings I have ever known!